Seeing stars

I: What are you working on?

S: I'm working on developing characters for a series of short stories or novels set in Budapest.

I: Nice.

S: How's living?

I: I'm working for a PR-company at the moment.
It's paying well, but is one hell of a job.

S: You always have a choice.

I: How's your soul, sis?

S: I'm doing really well, actually.
You?

I: Living fast, as usual.
Meeting people, trying to make myself understood and so on.
My old role.

S: Cheetahs and spots? Or old dogs and new tricks?

I: I'm reading Umberto Eco's Opera aperta at the moment.

S: I am eating the most amazing grapes!
That's the excitement my life is now.

I: It helped me understood how it works with me.

S: I went to Edinburgh for five weeks.
Got physically thrown out of a bar by a bouncer.

I: Too much to say – too little information getting through.

S: It seems he dislocated my shoulder.

I: Jesus.
Babe... and it's me talking about 'living fast' :)
For me living fast means dating a vocalist and drinking at my friend's jazz bar.

S: It makes a good story.

I: The worst stories are the best ones for sure.
But a dislocated shoulder...

S: I didn't realize my shoulder might be dislocated. I thought it was just a continuous muscle ache in my upper arm. But the other day I was bouncing across the room, and could tell it's not in place.

I: Fuck...
Have you seen a doctor?

S: No – I'm going to go this week. I have a chiropractor/sports doctor that I'm going to see.
But they X-rayed me when I went to the hospital in Edinburgh, and said I was fine.
Tell me about this vocalist. Hehh...

I: Well...
She was a finalist in the Hungarian version of American Idol.
Has a great voice, a sweet face and an unbearable personality.

S: Sounds like a vocalist.

I: She was 17 when first appeared on the screen.
She's the friend of my best friend's girlfriend.
Read my short stories.
And "fell in love with the artist". For fuck's sake, that's tough :D

S: And how's it going now?

I: She doesn't understand that the "artist" is a human being too.
And definitely not a pup to walk around in the neighborhood.
Funny, but that's the way it works, the way it always worked with me.
They like your ideas, your words – as long as you just write them down on a piece of paper.

S: Yeah - that's a fucked up situation. I know the feeling. (Only, with me, it was being "fascinating" that made me arm candy.)

I: But as soon as you wanted to have a conversation…
It's funny though…
Depressing? Yes, it is.
Frustrating? Yes, it is.
Disappointing? Of course.

S: Insulting. Frustrating. Annoying, first. Then depressing.

I: But funny

S: Yup.

I: Fuck knows.
At least I'm not in love and can keep a certain kind of distance.
You know what I mean.
After a while you just realize, you have to have a "cover".
Just like a book's cover…

S: Something you can't be judged (or your value weighed) by?

I: Something that keeps the dust away from you.

S: Am I still online?
Ugh…
I keep getting knocked offline.
Wtf…
Am I back yet?

I: You are.
Dunno…
I’m still looking for the ONE of course.

S: Yeah – I'm allergic to obnoxious people dust.
Dust jacket = very useful.
And in hardcover books, also very decorative.

I: The biggest mistake – as I see it – is to be curious about people.

S: The biggest mistake is to go through life without experiencing anything. As I see it.

I: You are curious so you keep asking questions.
Drawing conclusions.
But don't try to be logical if it’s about someone else.
Especially if you share something common. Like "love".
Strange, but friendships are different.

S: I find that people are very attached to their own realities, and it's difficult to impose your conclusions onto them.
How are friendships different?

I: Friends...
They at least try to understand you.
And don't want to obtrude their acceptations on you.
They don't want to change you.

S: Yeah – I think it's because they don't have so much invested, they can afford to be more understanding.

I: "Invested"?
Love is not an investment.
Love is a feeling.
That can warm up a frozen heart.
And keep it warm.

S: You invest feelings into a relationship.

I: You experience feelings.

S: A lot is at stake. Like your sense of identity.

I: As long as it is "true love" we are talking about, your sense of identity can not be at stake.
Love, I mean "true love" is based on two grown-up's choice.
Their feelings for each other.
I couldn't love somebody giving up her identity for my sake.
Or anyone's sake
I want to love somebody with character, personality, good and bad habits.
Someone you can touch-taste-feel.
Like a human being.

S: A REAL person?

I: Yes.
A real person.

S: Ugh… I have a student coming soon, and I have to resend those files, they got cancelled when I got knocked offline.

I: Have a nice eve.
And thanks for the chat

S: It was good talking to you.
Speak soon?

I: Course. I'd love to.